BY THERESA CULL
Los Alamos
Editor’s Note: The following talk was given by Theresa Cull at Sunday’s Pride service at the Unitarian Church of Los Alamos.
Pride is important to me because it reminds me that there was a time when LGBTQ+ people could be harassed, fired from a job, dishonorably discharged from the military, arrested, beaten, and even killed for acting a certain way or loving someone of the same sex. Pride is important because, even though life has improved and almost become normalized for many LGBTQ+ people, many of those same threats still exist today. I’ll remind everyone that the Supreme Court’s decision on marriage equality isn’t even 10 years old. And we all know that the current Supreme Court is willing to disregard almost 50 years of precedent to overturn certain rights. Just this year, 17 states passed restrictions on medical care for transgender people and other laws have been passed regulating which bathrooms transgender people can use. Laws banning gender transition care for minors have been enacted in 20 states.
So why is Pride important? Because LGBTQ+ young people are more than 4 times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers. Because more than 20% of hate crimes are motivated by anti- LGBTQ+ status and their incidence is on the rise. Because every day, an LGBTQ+ person is discarded by their family and friends for simply stating who they are or otherwise being outed. Because with every step forward out of the closet, there will always be someone trying to push us back in and slam the door shut. Pride celebrations remind everyone that LGBTQ+ people and their allies exist and are not afraid to show it.
I am proud that we have come so far since the Stonewall riots in 1969 sparked the Gay Rights movement. Many of you probably don’t remember the days when you had to know the secret signs or use your sixth sense of gaydar to tell you someone might be gay. There were no dating websites for LGBTQ+ people back then. After growing up closeted for so long, it’s still somewhat shocking, but gratifying, for me to see same-sex couples just holding hands in public. You don’t realize how big a deal that is, unless maybe you had to be subjected to a special interrogation by FBI investigators about your relationship as part of your security background investigation.
When my partner and I decided to have children 30 years ago, I knew I could no longer be closeted. I wanted our children to grow up knowing that there was nothing wrong with their family.I’m proud that we were one of the first same-sex couples in New Mexico to adopt each other’s child and have both our names on our children’s birth certificates, and I’m proud to see more and more children being raised by same-sex couples. I’m proud that I have two siblings and a daughter who have been able to legally marry their same-sex partners and that they have all been accepted into our larger family. My partner and I were not able to be legally married, even in the state of New Mexico, before she passed away 12 years ago. I’m proud that my daughter can serve openly in the military without having to worry about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and I’m proud that the Department of Defense began providing spousal and family benefits to servicemembers in same-sex marriages in 2013 (which was before the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality). I’m proud that my son sometimes teaches me things I didn’t know about gender diversity and is constantly correcting my pronoun usage. And I am proud to have somany supportive allies in this community.
A lot has changed for the better since 1969, but with every step forward comes a push in the other direction, as we are currently seeing with transgender rights. Pride might be a one-week or one-month calendar celebration, but it’s a year-long process. If you don’t know what to do, get involved in or contribute to organizations supporting LGBTQ+ rights, keep an eye on pending legislation, speak up, and vote for candidates whosupport LGBTQ+ rights. Pride is important to me because it means I have the confidence and self-respect to be who I am and do what I can to not let anyone try to put me or the LGBTQ+ community back in a closet.