BY LUKE PATTERSON
English 9/Mr. Davis
Los Alamos High School
In my opinion a ‘good friend’ is someone who enjoys you for who you are, shows interest in you, trusts you, feels comfortable sharing things with you, ‘feels like a good friend’, and vice versa. In this I will discuss what some qualities of a good friend are, how to tell if someone is a good friend, and other topics.
Before you read further, there are two things you should know, first a friend is probably a good friend if they feel like a “good friend”. Ask questions to yourself like, is this person fun to be around? Do I feel better after hanging out with them? Does this person treat me with respect? Can I trust this person? The rule of thumb is trust your gut, and if the friendship feels good it probably is good.
Second, good friendships go both ways. It is hard to make good friends without being a good friend yourself. Kidscape.org states “It’s not a good friendship if one of you is doing all the talking and the other is doing all the listening, all the time.”(Kidscape.org) So, all you have to do to be a good friend is do what makes a good friend to your friends.
So, what should I look for in a friend? A good friend should show interest in you, this appears in the form of listening to you, asking questions about you, and starting conversations. A good friend should trust you and you should trust them, this can come in the form of sharing sensitive information, and just sharing things. A good friend should like you for who you are, this means that they should actually like you for you and not your money for example.
Can online friends still be good friends? No, having an online friend is not the same as having a digital friend. It is stated on “HelpGuide.org” “Having hundreds of online friends is not the same as having a close friend you can spend time with in person”. (Artley et al). Also, an online friend cannot celebrate your birthday with you very well. Most of our best memories are made in person, not behind a screen.
A bad friend comes in many different forms and has many different signs, these are just some of the signs that I think are the most important. They may talk down to you/put you down. They may say things “honest things” that are just rude and/or hurtful. They may say things about you behind your back. They may exclude you from group chats/activities. They may be manipulative, And finally they might laugh at you and/or encourage others to laugh at you.
All of these add together to get someone who may make you feel bad about yourself. Also known as a “frenemy”. The big thing to remember when dealing with these people is that you are not the problem, the person is. To deal with a “frenemy” Kidscape.org says to “Explain calmly what they have done and the impact it is having. Be specific, for example “I feel upset that you kicked me out of the group chat” or “I feel very upset when you say that about my hair.””(Kidscape.org)
In conclusion, a good friend is someone who enjoys you for you, trusts you, shows interest in you, “feels” like a good friend, wouldn’t be considered a “frenemy”, and vice versa. Now I leave you with one question, are your friends considered good friends?
Annotated Bibliography
“Friendships and ‘frenemies.’” Kidscape, https://www.kidscape.org.uk/advice/advice-for-young-people/friendships-and-frenemies/. Accessed 14 May 2024.
This is a good source, it covers most of the signs of having a “frenemy.” This source also covers what to do if you have a “frenemy.” As someone who may or may not have a “frenemy” some of these signs do sound very familiar. Most of the things to do if you have a “frenemy” do sound like they would be helpful. Overall this seems like a pretty helpful and useful source.
“Making Good Friends.” HelpGuide.org, 5 February 2024, https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/making-good-friends.htm. Accessed 14 May 2024.
This is also a pretty helpful source. It covers what makes a good friend/what to look for in a friend. Why friends are important. It talks about if online friends are good enough. To top it all off it covers how to make friends and overall tips for being more social, and lastly how to be a good friend yourself. Overall this source seems trustworthy, helpful, and just a pretty useful source overall.
“What makes a good friend?” Kidscape, https://www.kidscape.org.uk/advice/advice-for-young-people/friendships-and-frenemies/what-makes-a-good-friend/. Accessed 14 May 2024.
This source reaffirms the previous source with what makes a good friend, and what to look for in a friend. This source also covers a pretty good topic about having a few good friends is better than having a lot of ok, kinda “fake friends.” This source is not as long but reaffirms the previous source. Overall this also is a pretty insightful source.